Discovering Waldorf – ‘Graciously Accepting Gifts’

What a timely topic for the upcoming gift-giving season… the wonderful Kimara and Michelle from Wee Folk Art discuss this topic with wisdom and, yes, grace. Their advice will find it’s way into our family for sure… thank you for being willing to delve into this often-touchy topic…

GRACIOUSLY ACCEPTING GIFTS – by Kimara and Michelle of Wee Folk Art

The holidays are fast approaching. What a joyous time as we try to find the perfect gifts for everyone on our list. Perhaps this is the year you’ve decided to make all your gifts or to buy handmade presents. You may be experiencing the joy of adding new family members through births and weddings, or as a family, you may have collectively decided to cut back on holiday gifting. However you approach the holidays this year, you probably have given a lot of thought to the gifts you will give, especially to your children.

Although gifting is meant to be merry, it can also fill us with anxiety. You have put so much thought and reflection into the type of toys you have shared with your children. They have toys that are made with natural materials that stimulate the senses, while at the same time provide a sense of well being and peace. Their toys create an environment for open ended play, generating an atmosphere where creativity and fantasy abound. You instinctively know the toys you value by their feel, their beauty and their purpose. These toys are not only suitable for your children, but they add a welcomed and warm ambience to your home. But chances are, you’re not the only one bestowing gifts upon your children. Loving family and friends also derive tremendous joy from giving gifts but sometimes their gifts can miss the mark, or in the worst case scenario, prove to conflict with your family values. Here are some ideas on how to help family and friends make toy choices that are compatible with your values, and how to graciously deal with gifts that aren’t.

MAKE YOUR WISHES KNOWN

You can’t expect others to be mind readers. Share your philosophy with those closest to you that are apt to buy toys for your children. Make sure they understand why you are making your choices and solicit their help. Most people willingly turn to parents for direction, but if they are not receptive to your suggestions, at least let them know which toys are off-limits. Everyone has their own list of forbidden toys. In our homes, toy guns and Bratz dolls will not receive even a limited shelf life. Since nobody wants to buy a gift that goes unused, most people welcome gift guidelines.

Having a wish list is a wonderful way to help guide selections. In most cases your family will thank you for thoughtfully providing them with ideas for your children. By putting together a wish list for each child, you are giving guidance while still providing for personal choice. A wish list can be as simple as ideas scribbled on a piece of notebook paper, to actually using one of the online free services like:

The Things I Want (http://www.thethingsiwant.com) or
Amazon’s Wish List (http://www.amazon.com/wishlist/universal).

BE WILLING TO COMPROMISE

You may do most of your toy buying at the lovely little toy shop in town that sells Holztiger, Haba and Stockmar or from the myriad of natural toy shops online. But if your mother-in-law never shops online or your sister only shops the discount department stores, make sure to give options that can be purchased in the stores they frequent. Think about some mainstream toys that would be compatible with your sensibilities. Example: the retro plastic troll above was purchased at a large chain toy store, yet he is a welcomed visitor in our gnome home… at least when he behaves!

Here are some ideas for toys that we find acceptable:

Wood Trains: You might prefer one brand over the others, such as Brio, but Thomas, Melissa and Doug, Ikea and many others are compatible and can be mixed together.

Blocks: Lego, Duplo, Lincoln Logs, Tinker Toys, or any wooden block sets. The adage, “The more the merrier” certainly applies to blocks, allowing for more elaborate and creative designs.

Art Supplies: Crafty kids can always use more construction paper, glue sticks, a fresh pack of crayons or yarns and cloth. Many crafting kits are also available.

Games and Puzzles: Classic board games and puzzles are always readily available.

Dolls: Only Hearts Club Dolls and Groovy Girls can be purchased in some of the box stores and are sweet alternatives to the more main stream fashion dolls.

Dress Up Clothes: Any toy store will have a ready supply of princess attire. Boy costumes might be harder to come by but they are available, especially early in the holiday season while Halloween items are discounted.

Figurines: Schleich, Papo and Safari sell ‘non-branded’ animals, fairies, knights and other figurines that can be incorporated in free end play and work wonderfully when paired with some wooden blocks. They can often be found in many box stores and even craft stores.

Melissa and Doug: Plan and simple Melissa and Doug toys are available just about everywhere these days, and cross that bridge between mainstream and natural toys. Plus, they are more affordable than the high end toys, making them an acceptable alternative for most budgets. M&D have toys is almost all of the above listed categories.

TAMING THE WILD GIFT GIVERS
We all know extravagant gift givers. They often look a lot like grandparents! Many families today are not only conscientious about the types of toys they welcome into their home, but the amount. Often, well meaning gift givers go overboard making it difficult for children to truly appreciate the gifts they receive. Try suggesting that these generous “gifters” restrict themselves to buying 1 or 2 wrapped presents then give a non-traditional type of gift. Perhaps they would be willing to pay for swim or piano lessons that are outside the family’s budget. Maybe they would enjoy buying dance recital costumes or purchase a subscription to a favorite magazine or book club. Remember to share your child’s accomplishments with the gift giver throughout the year. Tickets to the dance recital, an invitation to a swim meet or an afternoon of reading with your child are wonderful ways for your child to say “Thank You” for these thoughtful gifts.

LEAD BY EXAMPLE

When buying for other children, follow the rules set up here by first checking with a parent for ideas when giving gifts. Although they may request very different toys than you would choose for your family, you can often find something that you feel comfortable giving as a gift. If all else fails, give a gift that fits into the cross over category such as books, blocks, board games or craft supplies. Remember, just as a battery operated do-dad might stand out in your house, a hand knit item might be an unwelcomed gift in certain families. You want to demonstrate considerate gift giving not stubborn insistence!

COPING WITH THE INEVITABLE “UNDESIREABLES”

No matter how much you try to orchestrate the perfect gifting scenario, there will always be a gift or two that your child will receive that you wish he hadn’t. As the parent, the biggest challenge may well come after everyone goes home and you have to decide if it is a toy you will allow your child to keep. It is very hard for a child to receive a toy, especially if it is flashy, and have it taken away. You need to choose your battles wisely. If you forbid toy guns in your house, you will need to explain this to your child, and remove the toy. If, however, you simply do not appreciate the toy’s value or it simply does not match the ambience you have created in your home, tolerating the toy for a short time may be the most reasonable course of action. Here are a ways to help cope with “undesirable” toys:

Store the toys out-of-sight. Although your children’s beautiful wood and wool toys are displayed throughout your home, keep the “undesirables” stored in closets and cupboards. The toys can be taken out to be played with, but often, “out of sight, out of mind”. Toys that are soon forgotten can be recycled.

Battery life equals shelf life. For “undesirables” that come with batteries, our general rule of thumb is, when the battery dies, the toy is given away. Surprisingly, by the time this happens, our children are usually ready to relinquish the toy.

When a toy breaks, it is gone. The truth of the matter is, “undesirable” toys have a short shelf life and break easily. As soon as one of these toys loses a part or breaks, they are ready to be recycled.

EARNEST GRATITUDE

Finally, expressing earnest gratitude is an important part of social decorum, and to help your child develop this behavior, you must exhibit gratitude first. This is easy when receiving appropriate gifts, but still necessary even when accepting a less than welcomed gift. Remembering that a gift is the physical manifestation of caring can make it easier to bestow gratitude on even the most questionable gift selections!